I recently received a document that is being given to intended parents looking to do the Parental Order in the UK on their own and without the help of a lawyer.  It goes into details of what the Judges at the High Court want to see in the Witness Statement that is submitted and it tells you in what format they would like to see the information.

This is a MUST READ for anyone that is going to start their surrogacy journey and especially those going through international surrogacy.  If you would like a soft copy then please use the contact-me form and I will send it through to you.

I have been waiting now for a number of days to write a comment about surrogacy in Thailand as I've been hoping that the situation would become clearer.  However, it still seems rather vague but what is becoming more evident is that the military junta in Thailand seems to have taken a hard line with regards commercial surrogacy for international intended parents.

I've been saying for a while to anyone that would listen about Thailand that the existing law has been such that surrogacy was neither legal nor illegal and therefore intended parents should proceed at their own risk.  I've said this because as we have seen in other countries, laws can change overnight and those intended parents who had already signed-up or even worse, started, the process in Thailand could end up in legal limbo - which is exactly what seems to have happened.

What I've read on the great blog by Stephen Page (http://lgbtlawblog.blogspot.com.au/ ) as well as the Families Thru Surrogacy website run by Sam Everingham(http://www.familiesthrusurrogacy.com/surrogacy-by-country/surrogacy-in-thailand ) is that now surrogacy will be legal only if the intended parents:

1. are heterosexual;
2. are medically infertile;
3. ensure that a non-commercial transaction takes place;
4. use a surrogate that is a blood relative.

which as you can see basically excludes most people!

Thailand has been one of the cheapest options thus far for anyone looking at surrogacy but it of course had no written law around surrogacy.  India changed the law to only allow straight, married couples to go through surrogacy but now the Indian IVF clinics / surrogacy agencies are opening up the ability to go through surrogacy in Nepal (I ask myself regularly why are they doing this? is it because surrogacy is such a cash generator !?!).

I hear of more and more surrogacy jurisdictions popping up and I fear that there are "professionals" who are taking advantage of the emotional need of intended parents who want a family (not that I know the ins-and-outs but read articles on Planet Hospital in Mexico).  For us intended parents it is an emotional decision, for the unscrupulous it is a financial one and I have to remind intended parents of the cost vs. safety/security around the whole process angle.

I know of intended parents that are going to countries such as Mexico, Guatemala, the Czech Republic, Ukraine (even with the current problems with Russia) all because it is cheaper than looking at doing surrogacy in the US.  Believe me when I say that I totally understand why this is happening, I really do, the US is the most expensive country to go through surrogacy BUT it is a known and understood concept, and most of all it is LEGAL in some States (not all, but some).

I continually hear the comment that US surrogacy "is so expensive, we can't afford it!" and yes as I've said it is expensive, but there are ways and means of going through the surrogacy process and minimising costs.  In my mind the 3 largest costs are: agency, IVF and insurance.

I think that using an agency has its value but if cost is an issue then it can be done without one.  There are multiple international groups on Facebook that are run by intended parents and allow people meet and match without using an agency (obviously in the UK intended parents need to be aware that they can't advertise that they are looking for a surrogate).  You will still need a valid legal contract with your surrogate but that can be arranged with any attorney specialising in reproductive law.

The two IVF clinics in the US that I consult to (Connecticut Fertility Associates http://www.ctfertility.com/ and The Fertility Center of Las Vegas http://fertilitycenterlv.com/) both have ways that that enable intended parents to access cheaper IVF packages.  For example via a "shared cycle" or frozen eggs / embryos.  You just need to talk to them about what is available and do your research on what is best for you and your financial situation.

Insurance remains the biggest cost but if you are from the US and your surrogate has maternity cover and you are able to get new-born insurance then that cost can be minimised.  If you are not from the US then perhaps you can approach the hospital that you want your child to be born in and negotiate a flat-fee with them directly.  Arguably the hospital costs are massively inflated as insurance covers it so they might be amenable to a much reduced fee.

All of these things can bring the cost down to a manageable amount, granted it won't be a total cost of $10,000 but it could very well a lot lower than you originally expected AND you will be completely negating the risk that one day everything is proceeding perfectly fine and the next you're breaking the law.

We had a surrogate who was based in Arizona and not for one minute would I change that.  She is such an amazing woman and one that made the dream that we had of a family come true.  We still keep in touch regularly and she will forever be a part of our family.

The reason I came up with this topic is because without really thinking it through you can be shown a surrogate / pick an IVF clinic that is on completely the wrong side of the US for you.  After all you want this to be an easy, efficient process!!  Also I think the answer to this question is for you to pick a Doctor and their clinic that you would happily use on either side of the US.

By doing this, you are opening up the options when it comes to picking your surrogate.  If your surrogate is in Arizona then if possible you want to avoid paying her travel and expenses to go all the way to the East Coast and likewise if your surrogate is in Rhode Island, why do everything for her to go to California.

I also think that the answer to this question depends a lot upon your location.  If, as we are, you are based in Europe then you really can be quite happy with a clinic on the East Coast.  Unfortunately we are unable to use our surrogate again as she only wanted to do one journey therefore if we were to do the journey again I would have to think long and hard about Arizona as a State for us.

Having been through the process I really think that we would choose a clinic and find a surrogate on the East Coast for 3 reasons:

Firstly the physical time it takes to fly to the West Coast is for me too far.  The flights to the East Coast typically can take between 6-8 hours whilst those to the West Coast can take a lot longer between 10-12 hours.  If you are flying over for a scan and only spending a few days with the surrogate then that is a long flight and a lot of jet-lag.  There also seem to be many more flights to the East Coast than there are to the West Coast, so when it comes to actually getting to your destination it is logistically easier.

Secondly the time zone difference between the UK and the East Coast is such that it is easier to have a conversation with your surrogate.  The 5 hour time difference enables you to have calls after her work or during your lunch time before her day starts.  With Arizona, our surrogate had to take calls first thing in the morning and schedule her appointments for the first thing so that we could partake.  All in all this makes for a lot more planning!

Thirdly following on from the previous point, I found that the more time we spent with our surrogate, the more our bond with her grew.  I knew from the first time that we Skyped that we were going to have a great relationship but you still have to make the effort to get to know her you can’t even begin to understand what her thoughts, fears and hopes are.  It is very hard to create a bond if you can’t actually contact them regularly and with ease.  This is an emotional journey for everyone involved and you really want to be able to have that relationship.

However if you are in Australia or the Far East then the West Coast makes perfect sense for your IVF clinic and surrogate.  All of the reasons why I would choose the East Coast for me would mean you should choose the West Coast.

Surrogacy in the US is definitely the most expensive place to go through the process and I am regularly asked why chose it instead of doing it in a “cheaper” jurisdiction.  We had the choice of going to multiple countries namely the US, Thailand, the Ukraine, Georgia and India.  India is now not an option for same-sex couples (as the law is changing), but why the US?

 

In all honesty the answer is very simple – we felt that the tried and tested legal framework in the US would offer us and our children the best protection.  The US is a country where surrogacy has been going for years and as such it is an “understood” concept.

 

We wanted our family to be created in a country where we would be recognised as the parents of the children immediately and have all of the associated rights.

 

In the UK surrogacy contracts are unenforceable and the surrogate mother has rights for the first 6 weeks of the child’s life.  We felt that Eastern Europe and Thailand were not advanced enough for us to gain the level of comfort we wanted and that left the US.

 

On Friday I was interviewed by Emily Dugan from the Independent on Sunday about the upcoming Families Thru Surrogacy conference that is going to take place in Windsor next weekend.

My main concern when being interviewed is one never really knows the angle that the article is going to take.  Thankfully Emily wrote a good piece about international surrogacy and the issues around it and hopefully it helps get the message out that there are many more people looking at international surrogacy and that there are people like me that are willing to impart information and help others who want to take this route to building a family.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/revealed-surrogate-births-hit-record-high-as-couples-flock-abroad-9162834.html